“The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:9
Being only a ‘hearer’ of the Word, and not a ‘doer’ often says “Do as I SAY — not as I DO” or expects this from their spouse and children to perform. Requiring such performance according to OUR standard is Phariseeism – that is what our Lord HATES!
“Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses; therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them. They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.” Matthew 23:1-4
A pastor used this as an example of hypocrisy at a parenting conference: If you are yelling at your kids on the way to church, then wave and smile at people in the parking lot, the kids will resent it. So you need to either START yelling at the people at church or STOP yelling at your kids.
“. . . ye . . . outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.” Matthew. 23:28
Another kind of double standards is showing favoritism by having different rules for different children. I have seen this to be very common in step-families.
“. . . the wisdom that is from above is . . . without partiality, and without hypocrisy.” James 3:17
God’s way: “Those things, which ye have both learned and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace will be with you” Phil. 4:9.